若鵬部落

茶　tarik　咖啡　tarik　美祿　tarik
無論什麼顏色　皆被多年能能能的口號
拉拔成高聳的雙峰塔　團團轉的賽車道
具無限上揚空間的股市趨勢圖
以及膨脹的大馬健力士紀錄
關於最大的月餅糖果叉燒包
誰和蛇蠍變色龍共處最久（說我嗎？某議員問）
倒退開車最遠
拉茶拉得最高

啤酒倒得太急了
承包商和市議會捏了捏夜總會的大腿
都是泡沫

星洲日報／文藝春秋‧周若鵬‧2010.08.01

[ 點閱次數：5196 ]

只剩下这一方格的宁静了
奔波的马路锁在窗外
门一关起来就消失成墙
孩子的嬉闹声量下调
作轻柔的背景音乐
手机装聋挡掉日子的催促
可以慢慢
陪一只蜗牛
从这边墙角
爬到
那边墙角

刚好读完一页书
时一面墙亮起
也许亮着一句诗
和时间的积怨，再次
抽水冲掉了

[ 點閱次數：5063 ]

Chapter 1

A lawyer has brain cancer. The doctor says, "Don't worry. Brain transplant is so easy nowadays. Just go buy one and I'll swap it for you."

So the lawyer goes to the brain dealer. The salesman shows him a USD10,000 brain.

"Wow," the lawyer says, "this is expensive."

"Of course, this is Thomas Edison's brain. You wanna be smart and rich, this is the one to get!"

"Let's shop around first," says the lawyer, not wanting to commit.

The salesman shows him a USD30,000 brain.

"Wow, this is even more expensive!"

"Of course, this is Albert Einstein's brain! One of the smartest person ever lived."

The lawyer says, "You see, I am a lawyer. I have money. These are all good, but do you have any brains that are closer to my profession?"

The salesman then shows him a USD200,000 brain. He exclaims, "This is insanely expensive! Why?"

"Because it's new. It's Abdul Razak's. 24 years in practice, never once used."

Chapter 2

The lawyer buys it anyway, and have it fitted in no time. But he feels more stupid afterwards. So he go back and complain to the brain dealer.

"Oooi. I feel much stupider. Why like that one?" The lawyer asks.

"It's like that. We already stated it in the fineprint. The brain, though new, was de-oxidized." The salesman explains.

"Huh, what de-oxidized? Don't use deep deep England words. I don't understand."

"Means no oxygen to the brain, and the brain cells all die. The previous owner died of self-strangulation, when demonstrating how to do it."

"Like that also can. You cheated me USD200,000. I am going to sue you!" The lawyer yells frantically.

The salesman just smiles and say, "Come sue lah! You have Abdul Razak's brain now. What chances do you have?"

Author: Looks like me, sounds like me, but it's not me.
"Who wrote this? You?" "Korrect, korrect, korrect."

[ 點閱次數：7082 ]

你会发现 迟早
这天的二十四小时
不一定比哪一天的
好

时钟的每个刻度
撒满丰盛如披萨的祝福
老板、老婆和老妈子
同样有权各撕一片
作为孩子们的老子
还得主动各分一片
最后吃剩下的披萨
盒

吃厚纸板没什么不好
以形补形
我的皮肤  尤其脸部
从此刀枪不入

就不只是生日
才快乐了

2010.09.03

[ 點閱次數：4284 ]

我出生在Bus车上 一如我父母
对於颠簸的行程习以为常
半世纪来司机只换了几次
乘客大致一样
依服色
分列而坐
我坐这边 另一边
全是残障保留席

我的车卡一样是蓝色
从不计较多付车资
为残障席添置拐杖和轮椅
为什么还有人要我感恩
是为了更新车长合约时
才分到的饼干矿泉水吗?
邻座不时叫嚣
控诉我寄居在他们的位子
呼吸了他们的空气
司机冷笑
抛一把短剑
斜插在座位中间

刀刃两边映照着嫉愤和惊惶
但通常没事
我方总有代表挺身夺剑
自捅大腿
像上次把抛来的汽油弹
抢在裤裆中燃爆
在火焰中协商
非残障乘客的地位

Bus如常行驶  司机稳坐车头
方向不明  有谁问起
就特意行经预设的大型看板
从夸大万能的马力
到宣传乘客的团结
鸦片般麻痹汽油将尽的事实
齿轮磨损电箱失灵
五十年下来还没谁学会修理
至于维修的预算远超Bus的市价
司机表态追究
我们冷笑之际
再抛来烟幕弹
在炸开的丑闻中聋盲

其他Bus加速前进
混合动力   轻快无烟
我们的乘客只忙着申诉
按人数比例瓜分仅余的汽油
喊着不会消失的口号
在别人的后视镜中快速消失
我举手发言，他们叫嚷
不喜欢就跳车回家

原以为安稳的地方才叫家
但我出生在这颠簸的Bus上
出生的地方就是家吧
但其他乘客在宽阔的座上
企图否定我原就狭窄的位子
我举手  想说我也帮忙擦拭车窗了
请看看窗外开阔的风景
有人开窗
想把我丢出去

“你们爱这Bus吗？”
爱一辆随时想赶我下车的公车？
像家暴中长期精神受虐的女人
报生纸身份证齐备却硬被指作私生子
有的径自跳车去  总有Bus张臂欢迎
有的还在原位  对自己的车票执意与质疑
等邻座有人伸手过来
还是我们伸手过去

司机不时回头
随时准备

2010.08.31 马来西亚国庆

[ 點閱次數：4794 ]