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你習慣叫他湯姆等待或是維特斯？（或是等待死。）

另一天我坐在角落，離電腦技師的玻璃櫥窗遠遠的，反復用[Alt+Tab]來掩蓋自己濫用學校設備的行爲。

那時候我等待的是“天空爆炸”，等他們演出的錄像檔案一點一滴載入硬碟。像是過了很久很久，約莫兩小時的影音片段總算圓滿存檔——我有一個秘密文件夾，藏在爪哇軟件的箱子裏。

天空爆炸以後，我繼續与更多靴統走私犯(bootlegger)接洽，免費進口湯姆等待的現場演出錄音。知道Tom Waits是因爲《椰子屋》的介紹，開始聼時已是1998年的《Beautiful Maladies》。而鎮上，只有一間店在賣這張唱片；店主跟我說，那是唯一的一張。

電腦室冷得要命，那個鋼琴喝醉的故事，讓我一面發抖著還笑得出來。其他正努力編寫程序的同學們，大概以爲我喝醉了。

♪♫♪♫鋼琴喝醉了，我的領帶睡著了
♪♫♪♫樂團回紐約去了，點唱機要撒尿了
♪♫♪♫地毯該剪頭髮了，聚光燈看起來像越獄逃犯
♪♫♪♫電話的香煙沒了，陽臺正躍躍欲試呢
♪♫♪♫那鋼琴喝醉了，鋼琴喝醉了...不是我不是我不是我不是我不是我

然而，一定也有些同學和我一樣，抓的不是程序蟲，卻是另一種，夢幻泡影。

THE PIANO HAS BEEN DRINKING (NOT ME) from the album [Small Change] (1976)
(Not released studio record)

The piano has been drinking, my necktie is asleep
And the combo went back to New York, the jukebox has to take a leak
And the carpet needs a haircut, and the spotlight looks like a prison break
And the telephone's out of cigarettes, and the balcony is on the make
And the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking...

And the menus are all freezing, and the light man's blind in one eye
And he can't see out of the other
And the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid, and he showed up with his mother
And the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking
As the bouncer is a Sumo wrestler cream-puff casper milktoast
And the owner is a mental midget with the I.Q. of a fence post
'Cause the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking...

And you can't find your waitress with a Geiger counter
And she hates you and your friends and you just can't get served without her
And the box-office is drooling, and the bar stools are on fire
And the newspapers were fooling, and the ash-trays have retired
'Cause the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking, not me, not me, not me, not me, not me

號外：
老湯難得溫柔，唱得最荒涼的大概是時間了吧。
這是1996年2月在奧克蘭現場演唱的版本。

TIME from the album [Rain Dogs] (1985)
(Live in Oakland Feb'96)

Well the smart money's on Harlow and the moon is in the street
And the shadow boys are breaking all the laws
And you're east of East Saint Louis and the wind is making speeches
And the rain sounds like a round of applause
And Napoleon is weeping in a carnival saloon
His invisible fiancee's in the mirror
And the band is going home, it's raining hammers, it's raining nails
And it's true there's nothing left for him down here

[CHORUS]
And it's time time time, and it's time time time
And it's time time time that you love
And it's time time time #

And they all pretend they're orphans and their memory's like a train
You can see it getting smaller as it pulls away
And the things you can't remember tell the things you can't forget
That history puts a saint in every dream

Well she said she'd stick around until the bandages came off
But these mama's boys just don't know when to quit
And Mathilda asks the sailors "Are those dreams or are those prayers?"
So close your eyes, son, and this won't hurt a bit

Oh~[CHORUS]

Well things are pretty lousy for a calendar girl
The boys just dive right off the cars and splash into the street
And when they're on a roll she pulls a razor from her boot
And a thousand pigeons fall around her feet

So put a candle in the window and a kiss upon his lips
As the dish outside the window fills with rain
Just like a stranger with the weeds in your heart
And pay the fiddler off 'til I come back again

Oh~[CHORUS]x2

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