熱帶魚

Time, my body pronounced your name with its tongue, so homophonic as death, as in vain. So powerful, pointing at the heart of eternity from pronunciation.
– Pruef (1982-2005)

As for my existence, is always
to be but not yet. To be is my destiny,
the calendar persuaded me not, so is tiredness.
I keep on departing, from awakening, from sleep. To punish
the guilt of left over adolescence, until death sitting by my side,
living in my body, he and I
face to face, flesh to flesh. Count not fear,
when death is here, he is risen.
Today is but yesterday in her coming
having a deal with death. As clear and as bright
as if the funeral day of grandfather.
I shall be awake more than death, more passionate than darkness
before tomorrow, denying another mystery left along
by death. In the depressing moody season, after the numbness
of tobacco taste, standing still by the window,
as if it is after the migration of light, or withdrawal
from my long after wandering. Alone I
carry out the great recovery from
a powerful word. De-press, the setting is pure-
in reproduction I produce myself, in production I reproduce myself,
facing the plural of decease, I shall begin to reduce, reducing
until a meeting of a singular self between breathing in
and out, only and healthy. Everything
will be fine. The beginning of
the ending, is the ending of the beginning.
Sunset brings forth the moonrise, reverse, the rhythm
in the elegy of time waves and completes its cycle, forming inside me
the unknown melody, perfect timing to farewell day by day, without bias
without inscription, without the pale chrysanthemum, but with the dew
on the ephemeral petal, bearing the duty of a deeper metaphor.
One day replaces another day, I touch the pollen, grinded by one second
after another second. All days made of sun and rain, moody day left over
in the mood. From the haze of life, how shall I clarify and revolt the whorl
into my body. Olive green vessels crawling all over my body, while the white dove
clucked and made tidy some undisturbed air
I shall meet the light earlier. Like entering a space of light
in a scene of a good life, east of truth, the land of rising sun,
I rise earlier than the morning sun, and risen from
the darkness. Everyday is the last day, but I decide
to befriend the meaning of life,
to be happy in every awakening, dear daddy mummy
please store the thermometer and tranquillizer
stop shedding tears and standing still
at the gap of light and
darkness. Depression, it can no longer please me.
The fever of searching a point to meet at the ending, myself, of the beginning,
it is but a cycle,
a line, here the lonesomeness is greater than silence
recover but easier than fame.

Trans. by: Chantelle Tiong

In days of count down for KL Poetry Island Poetry Festival(24-26 July 2010)
http://arosydate.blogspot.com

[ 點閱次數：7924 ]